Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
