Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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