I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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