yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You don't make any sense
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