at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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