i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you traded sex for a burrito?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
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The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
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My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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