Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
