I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize