So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
