After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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