even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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