Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
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I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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