Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
