woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You are the jesus of drinking
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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