if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
