Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
