you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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