So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
