Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
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She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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