Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
