i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
