i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
