I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
