Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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