butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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