If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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