you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
