1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I lost the right to judge tonight