dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
