i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
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No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.