Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.

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  (917): i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again. http://tfl.nu/ig6s
  Replies (35) Good night (717) Bad night (3892)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.

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  (732): soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm. http://tfl.nu/dqxm
  Replies (12) Good night (4434) Bad night (849)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.

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  (706): I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor. http://tfl.nu/s5q7
  Replies (21) Good night (2135) Bad night (4500)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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  (631): Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick. http://tfl.nu/pj3f
  Replies (12) Good night (4000) Bad night (1040)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side

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  (847): I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side http://tfl.nu/k88p
  Replies (12) Good night (2106) Bad night (786)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

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  (519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it." http://tfl.nu/vqit
  Replies (14) Good night (4624) Bad night (866)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night

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  (+44): i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night http://tfl.nu/5yd2
  Replies (4) Good night (761) Bad night (1563)
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  (707): View more from California

  They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.

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  (707): They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR. (705): I NEED to see if his girl has a sister. http://tfl.nu/ou19
  Replies (9) Good night (2863) Bad night (831)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?

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  (410): fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up? http://tfl.nu/rzhf
  Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (1415)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.

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  (440): Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great. http://tfl.nu/fk00
  Replies (15) Good night (436) Bad night (711)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now

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  (662): Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now http://tfl.nu/yxmg
  Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (312)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.

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  (256): That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants. http://tfl.nu/0w7x
  Replies (5) Good night (661) Bad night (367)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...

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  (978): You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again... http://tfl.nu/9z52
  Replies (3) Good night (761) Bad night (294)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Why do you hate her?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....

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  (601): Why do you hate her? (1-601): She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina..... http://tfl.nu/0u28
  Replies (1) Good night (799) Bad night (319)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.

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  (973): Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police. http://tfl.nu/4iv8
  Replies (0) Good night (816) Bad night (222)

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