Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.