The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
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I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
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Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."