so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
