And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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