So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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