I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
the gays at disneyland are vicious
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
