God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
