Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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