they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
