I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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