I am puke
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
