Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize