I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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