honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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