check it out our google latitudes are spooning
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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