Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
