And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
