the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
