This is not my ceiling
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The best revenge is premature balding
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
