Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
