RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
