Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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