I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
