3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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