i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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