I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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