so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
