i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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