Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
