Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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