This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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