I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He did a backflip because drugs
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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