Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
