was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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