This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
